dnf

I didn’t run the Zooma Half last weekend so I’d be ready & healthy for the North Face EC today.  And I was ready.   It started out great, I had good coffee, I got to see Dean Karnazes again and the weather was perfect.

More than half way through, I felt good and I was doing well.  When I was approaching the turning point in the course, the two course workers were clapping and shouting “There she is, she’s looking great”

I assumed they were speaking about someone behind me that they knew but I didn’t do my usual smile or look back.  The course looked a little different than I remembered it from 3 years ago.

After they marked my bib and sent me on my way, I turned and realized they’d been speaking to me.

I felt excited and proud.  I looked at my watch and realized I was on point to finish in under 8 hours  which gave me an hour of leeway and put me way under the deadline.  In that moment I was elated.

I’d not run since the 50 miles a month before other than a few one mile light jogs here and there, and had been primarily just doing strength and core at home.  And yet I was going to finish strong.

I waved and thanked them for cheering for me.  I started to almost leap carelessly for just a bit.

Then I lost my footing on one of the most technical and rocky stretches.  I had just taken off my gloves (because my hands were swelling) and I felt myself flying forward.  I screamed.

Suddenly there were other runners coming towards me.  One by one they started to show and stand around me.  I didn’t realize how bad it was.  They were looking for tissues and asking me what they could do.  They moved me off to the side.  The crowd was growing.  I literally believed I would just wrap it up and be on my way.

I kept telling them to leave me and not mess up their times.  I wish I could remember all their names and thank them.

The two guys who were cheering for me called the medical emergency staff to come get me.  It took them  a while to arrive, because the course was super narrow and I was clear out in the middle of no darn where.

The jeep arrived and the EMTs rinsed off my knee.  I was squeezing someone’s hand off from the pain.  They wrapped it up tight and said it definitely needed to be stitched but that they couldn’t stitch it because it was full of rocks and it needed to be cleaned out, and they weren’t equipped to do that in the field.

“But I want to finish, you wrapped it, I’m more than half done, let me finish, its just a couple more hours”

“You’re bleeding right through the bandages, we’ve already called an ambulance and you need to go to a  hospital”

And just like that I was a DNF.

The jeep ride back was an adventure to say the least.  Runners who were wearing headphones despite the rule not to, couldnt hear us beeping.  The trail was barely as wide as the jeep and the drop was hundreds of feet if we were to go over the edge.

That wasn’t the scariest part of the afternoon though.  After an enjoyable ambulance ride, I had to sit and wait for hours for them to clean all the rocks out of my knee.

I wont go into many more details or share the pictures that Im not sure why I took (and if youre super lucky I txt’d to you today).  I sure was nervous though.

My normally low 77/52 bloodpressure spiked when they started messing w it to 115/80 (normal for some people but not me).

At this point I was squeezing Steve’s hand and watching w/ terror every poke, scrub, prod and clip.   The doctor thought I should look away but I just couldn’t.

Again I wish I knew everyone’s name so I could send thank you cards.  I know they were all just doing their jobs but I appreciated them all very much.

Now I have to monitor my knee closely for two wks for signs of infection, as so much flesh is gone there is only so much that could be done and it is basically a raw, seeping wound for now.

This is the part in the story where I say Everything Happens for a Reason and There’s Always a Next Time and {fill in all the similar comments} – yeah, I get it and guess what, I know and I understand and it will all be ok and I need to heal and so on – but today – Im sad – Im very sad – I keep randomly crying.

But I’ll get over it….and I’ll run again.