Just another blog ~ some helpful stuff ~ some feelings etc

Month: September 2015

cinque anni

As anyone who has talked to me recently probably already knows – October 30 is the 5 Year Anniversary of my first marathon aka “marathon-versary”. And in just a few days – less than a week, I am attempting my first 100 Miler.

It will be my 40th race, and 9th ultra.
Oh, how my life has changed so much! Ive added so many new and wonderful people to my life. Ive learned so much about who I am, and what Im capable of.

During this journey so far, starting with training for my first full, five years ago – I have been in so many different places, in terms of fitness and training. There were races that I ran EVERY day for. I remember following plans to a T. I remember between work trips or my kids’ basketball, football and lacrosse games, I would use those periods of time to hit the trail – I always had my shoes and gear on me or near me. Football practices were 6 nights per week, so why not run around the practice field the whole time? People in the community just came to know me as a stinky person.

That’s what I did.

Ive been injured to the point of completely incapacitated. Ive had a pulled back and a ripped open knee. Ive been just plain old lazy and my weight has ranged up and down in a 30 pound window!!

For me personally – Ive over trained. I dislocated a toe (that is still not connected to my foot) doing incessant hill-repeats for hours. And I’ve under-trained, driving hours away to a race where I found myself barely able to walk anymore, nevermind run! What a lesson!!

When you don’t listen to your trainer about how to fall (roll into it) not only do you break your hand – sometimes you end up with enough rocks in your knee (and left over flesh on the trail) that your ass is stuck on crutches for
weeks.

Every step of the journey is a learning experience. Ive had to learn about what nutrition works by trial and
error. Ive learned about shoes, socks, jackets, lights, hats, bottles and gloves – and every kind of gear you can imagine. What treatments are effective? Do I want a collagen injection for tarsal tunnel? Do I need KT Tape? Are compression socks going to help me? How much fluid do I really need?

And all of this has to be learned by experience. Since each of us is different, no two stories will ever be alike.

When people ask me what to do – I try to always tell them what worked for me with the caveat that all advice is a nothing more than guideline that they have to adjust to work for themselves by listening to their own bodies.

Please know this, no matter who you are, what youre attempting and how you’ve prepared for it – there’s no telling what race day has in store for you. Whether you are doing something you’ve done before or something brand new – there are many factors that all work together to determine the outcome – positive or negative. There’s weather and nutrition – there’s every aspect of your health, to include a bonus element if youre female – theres unexpected mishaps like falling or getting lost (hey, it happens).

This isn’t just a running thing or an ultra-running things. This is a life thing. You do your best and you hope for the best but there is always the unknown, no matter how unlikely, even if its only an iota of a percent of a chance for things to turn out in the unlikely way possible – you cant control anything – other than your will.

Be well and move forward.
<3 ~K~

I just ran down the stairs – twice. Yep, ran – Why? Because I can. Why? Because I didn’t push it yesterday. Which might sound like the easier path – and in some ways it obviously is – but mentally when you are given an ~10k loop and 12 hours to do your thing – and you KNOW you can do 8 laps, ****you f#$%#$cing KNOW it – but you only do 5 – well, it’s mentally taxing to say the least. Its hard to let people pass you – its hard to step to the side when you hear footsteps getting closer – its hard to get lapped. Its hard to lean on a tree and wish your fellow runner a good day – let them go – it’s a different kind of day for them – it’s a training day for me. And Im glad I can run down the stairs today (usually I cant even walk, I have to crawl backwards). Im glad I feel ok today. I have the Grindstone in two weeks, and that, however lofty a goal, is my priority.

And for that very same reason, I have offered my Diva Half bib to someone else. Because no tiara, no boa, or tutu or chocolate covered strawberry served with champagne by a shirtless fireman will be worth tweaking or straining or injuring in part of myself a week out from Grindstone. 5 girls will sleep out at my place, and I will cook them pasta and give the a ride and cheer for them – but Im not running it.
Im NOT in my best shape – but Im not in my worst either – and Im not giving up – and I’m sure as hell not going to sabotage myself or act ignorant. The mere race is and of itself enough of a foolhardy ambition to last me a while 😉

I am satisfied with however it turns out. I met so many wonderful people yesterday – many who have run 100s,
several who have attempted and/or accomplished Grindstone – some who tried multiple times. I realize, that like a full-scope-poly or qualifying for Boston – it often takes more than one try. I got to hear multiple personal testimonies describing this very story. Stories of things ceasing up, stories of incessant vomit or passing out. Stories of grit and grime and glory.
And so – maybe I’m just going to learn a bunch of lessons and accomplish nothing more than figuring out what Im capable of that day. There are good days and bad ones. Off and on.

Maybe I wont even distance PR but this adventure is unique to this course – no two distance are alike – that is like no other I have even tried. I have no crew. I have no one to pace me. Im scared of the dark (terrified of being lost and alone). This isn’t a flat, lit, loop track. This is 24,000+ feet of gain and loss on narrow, loose rock with steep deadly drops.

Im going to ride my bike whenever Im home over the next two wks between travel. I might try to find gyms at my hotels when I can. Maybe I’ll even jump in the ocean for a few laps.
Never give up my friends. Much love.

Be well,
<3 ~K~

here we go

Well, this is it. I have three business trips and three races in the next three weeks.
Not different than any other autumn but they are big races, and important trips (and a bunch of other stuff).

My overall attitude for the 12 hour in a couple days is that Im more than satisfied with 50k, which is a million percent achievable, and will be my 3rd ultra in less than 6 months. If I finish with miles greater than that, its just a bonus. Likely I’ll do more but Ive given myself permission to be satisfied regardless, viewing it as a training run. I’ll just enjoy the experience (it’s a great course and amazing crew) and avoid injury – as my first
100 miler is just two weeks later!!!

I am also pretty relaxed when it comes to said 100 miler and here’s why.
My mantra is I’d rather DNF than DNS. Last year 55 people out of 262 did not finish, that’s almost a fifth of the runners (17 didn’t start).

That means, Yes Im going to attempt it, and Im going to find out what Im capable of. Not what Im capable of forever and always, but in that specific moment. And it might be more or less than what Ive done before but Ive never done this course before and it is a significantly difficult course – no one can argue that.

So it is an adventure. A journey. Something I cannot predict the outcome of. It is very exciting.
Ive run 50k on a trail in 7 hours before – and guess what – it took me that long to do 20 miles on this course. Its brutal but lovely and fun.

My dream. Well, my dream specific to this race – is – that I finish of course. Im even cool with last place. I just want to make all the cutoffs and not get DQ’d, but I know that that is not unlikely (note aforementioned stat).
I am not letting myself off the hook here, Im fully hooked. I have just been going over and over this in my head lately, usually while riding my bike and I really am ok with just figuring out just what I can do – and then using that as a point to play off of in the future.

I have definitely shifted from wanting to BQ, to wanting a Western States Qualification.

I am an Ultra Runner. Lets go.