Yesterday, I was walking with someone, a short distance at a moderate pace, and I said, “It didn’t seem this far going out as it does heading back”

Granted, we had just met that day, but they responded, “Have you ever ran a 5k”

I don’t expect them to know what I have done, so all I said was, “Yeah, a couple”

And its in my head today.

Not because they did anything wrong at all – but because I feel pathetic.

Here is what I didn’t say:

Yes, Yes I have run a few 5ks, but its not my favorite distance.  My actual favorite distance is 50k, and tomorrow, coincidentally,  is the 9 year anniversary of my first one, and have since run, ten 50ks, two 50 milers, one 100k, and 8 full (40k) and 13 halfs (20k).

But I didn’t refrain from saying it just because it would be rude – I didn’t say it because who would look at me, right now, 20+ lbs over weight and totally out of shape, and think I did any of those things in recent years?  Hell, I couldn’t even ride the 40 mile gravel grinder today that I rode a year ago.

I likely had covid and I still get out of breath, but thats not an excuse.  I also have a lot of stressful things piled over each other right now – one after another – but also, not an excuse.

So many folks  I know have taken some advantage of the covid situation and gotten into shape and lost weight.  I have gained a significant amount!

And so, I rode a little today.  And maybe, after my meetings and errands, I’ll go for a run  tonight.

One step at a time everyone.

That  athlete version  of me is still in there and I’ll get through all this crap I’m going through (most of which I can’t even talk about) and get my shit together.

I hope you’re all well.

Love, K