So ultra number 10 in just under 5 yrs is done, and Im curled up in bed now all cozy. It didn’t turn out the way I’d planned, but that’s ok. Actually, all three of the races I did in the last month had results very unlike what I’d hoped. A succession of unforeseen recent events/circumstances had me pretty sure I wasn’t even going to go today. I wasn’t packed and nothing was charged, not my phone or my GoPro.

The race started at 7am and there I was, at 830, still home, drinking coffee in front of my computer about to do all the things I hadn’t finished this week. Then I just jumped in my car and headed down. I thought of Jodi and I hope she doesn’t mind me saying this but was I seriously going to not do the drive and at least 5 loops because of blisters or sprains or work pressure or the kid stress or any series hectic or taxing trauma – while my friend is fighting cancer? For like 8 years!!? Im not going to get into her business but I will just say that her unwavering faith and beautiful love for our Lord humbles me greatly and make me admire her so.

I needed this. I needed to be out there. And they let me start late!! By the time I arrived everyone was at least two loops ahead of me, including the new friend I met during the North Face and dragged to Flying Pig with me. I think he finished 7 loops! Woo Hoo!

I actually got to spend a good bit of time on my own, with just my thoughts, clearer on the trail than at any other time. My original goal for this 24 hour run was to run the full 24 for a distance of 75 miles (12 loops). Now I was aiming to call it a night after only 5. And thats ok.

Oh how I love how my head lectures itself when I am out there in the woods.I decided these trail ultras, particularly the timed ones, are the best metaphor for life. You race against yourself. There are twists and turns and obstacles. There are many unexpected things that can happen from a stumble over a root or a slithering snake gone by or the noticing of a tiny pretty flower all alone and smiling up at you. The kindness of others out there is really a gem in it all. Everyone helps everyone in every possible way.

These ATR races in particular, more than any, are so full of wonderful people carefully providing the most wonderful race experience. Wounds are dressed, bladders are filled, encouraging words are spread and the food is outstanding. You leave feeling not just like you have more friends than when you arrived but that you are part of a big awesome family.

Today, I thought about humility. I thought about in life how you get put in a situation where you feel someone else gets something you deserve. When you get blamed for things you didn’t do or watch others take credit for what you were responsible for. How can we really learn and grow in all these situations? How are our greatest lessons the most painful ones? Knowledge and wisdom come with scars.

I reflected about attention and approval and how Ive always craved both for some reason. A year ago I did ten loops and I needed to do more. But why? I mean its not a bad thing to be motivated and have goals but it doesn’t hurt to know what the point is. To be still when God tells you to. To listen. To be at peace. To stop trying to control everything. And out there on the trail, there’s so much you cant control…so translate that into life. Ive been too stressed lately. This little 10+ hr run gave me clarity. Peace…

When I was home earlier where I belonged and needed to be, the sunshine outside for the first time all week, beckoned at me and I couldn’t fight it. I shut my laptop and just left. I knew the injuries I had were from the last couple of races and were minor and that if I took it easy, I’d get through it.

The trail was in amazing shape considering all the rain we’ve had – or maybe my standards just changed after the NF muddy debacle. I do wish I”d had the GoPro with me for some o the trickier spots, just to share – but really, there are things that no film could ever really capture – and that is the whole personal experience.

At one point, I had the full on Curt-Schilling-bloody-sock thing going on, just like in North Face a month ago. The crew put new skin on me and taped it and off I went. Shortly later it slid off and was rubbing worse. So the next time I came through they cleaned it, disinfected it, reskinned it and then “taped the fuck out of it”
Not only did it hold the rest of my loops, I could hardly get it off when I got home. Its in rough shape and will be for a while, but Im confident I’ll be back in order soon enough.

Luckily there are no more races on the horizon. I am taking off for a week, completely, Then Im going to increase the water intake, reduce coffee and wine, carb-cycle and split my days between Daily Burn and riding my bike, whenever possible. Just do what I do, because choices matter.

I came home to flowers and a card and most importantly – a big yummy Starbucks ordered just the way i like it.
Happy Mother’s day.

Be well everyone
<3 <3 <3 K