Just another blog ~ some helpful stuff ~ some feelings etc
On the way to the bus stop I talked to my teenager about some recent thing that happened to his little brother at school that concerned me. I described each incident and asked if he thought his brother was being picked on?
“Its all normal 6th grade boy stuff mom”
“It is?”
“Yep”
“Did stuff like that happen to you in 6th Grade?”
“Yep”
Oh – OK
Well, glad we cleared that up.
In response to some twitter posts recently, let me start by saying I do what works for me and feels right. You have to do what works for you as well. I hope that the successes and failures I share will help you, but by no means do I think there is one way to do things that will work for everyone. We all have to do our own thing.
People often ask about what is the big differentiation in terms of training for an ultra, rather than a marathon. There are a few things I had to learn, to include bricking, pacing-down and ‘learning to walk’, but today I’ll start with nutrition. If youre running for 8 or more hours, you’re going to have to consume more than just a sports drink or energy gel to keep going.
While you are doing your long training runs (and hopefully you’re doing back-to-back longs, but not more than 20 miles imo) – bring food. Try one thing at a time, so you can test how you will react to it. This doesn’t mean that you’ll react the exact same way every time, or that the same things will always appeal to you – every run can be different – but just try one thing at a time.
Aid stations are going to have things like fruit, cookies, crackers and chips etc. Since I am gluten free, I can not always indulge in what is being provided. So I have to bring my own stuff, by way of drop bags, backpack and/or crew. Examples of things I have eaten are pretzels, nut butter sandwiches, doubleshots (this is probably not good advice because coffee is a dietetic but I crave it during runs), roasted salty potatoes (omg yes); and crispy turkey bacon (don’t judge me).
I also water down sports drinks – I don’t drink them straight – they irritate me. I water them at least half and half or even one part electrolytes and two parts water. Salt is important – it can take cramps away, as can bananas ie potassium. Some people like fruit and candy etc, but I usually cant stomach anything sweet.
Anyways – when youre out training for 3 or 4 hours, bring a little food. Youll be glad on race day when you have made a habit out of eating-on-the-run.
<3 K
Today was my 6th marathon in 3.5 yrs. Well, 10th if you include ultras.
My mantra today went a little something like this: “Youre not here for a PR or a BQ, that’s another day. This is a training run w a medal – chill out and enjoy the day” (and boy did I enjoy it, nevermind a sick tummy).
I started out my first 5 miles with a friend from high school. And lets be honest here – we go into every race fantasizing that we’re going to do something incredible. And if I’d stayed with her, I could have PR’d – but then, I might have gotten injured…
Ultra training is not about speed for me right now, its about new distances and endurance. Going into my first couple of ultras I over-trained and paid the price (with a dislocated toe and nerve damage on one ankle to say the least).
So 6 weeks out from my first attempt at 24-hours, I needed to reel it back, and it was hard mentally. Walking was actually more painful than running, it made me cramp up. And it was hard to let my friend go off. It was hard to stop chasing the 4:30 pacers, and then finally, I let the 5 hr group go past me somewhere around 24. So with only 2 miles left, I just chilled.
A wonderful thing happened and helped me to shift my focus however. I met a lady named Pamela. I’ve had the blessing of meeting some really special people during a few of my big races, some of whom have become important friends in my life. I think there is something about the adventure we share – the emotions, the fear, the pain and then finally the joy – that bonds us.
Pamela was great. This was her first marathon. And I knew how she was feeling – at least to a point. We connected around mile 17 and kept running back into one another. Then I decided, I know how hard this part is, the last few miles – especially the first time – When you hit the ‘wall’ and youre really unsure if you’ll give in – so, I stayed with her. Honestly I was happy to do so – I was feeling down right ready to walk anyways, so I let her drive the pace.
Finishing with her was a beautiful experience filled with joyful tears & a hug. She did it. And I was so proud of her. Here we are:
Tomorrow I can take my doggie on a ten miler – he’ll be sure to stop plenty of times to sniff and pee on things, so, it wont be a stressful run – but it will be good training for the ATR coming up. I know what my mission is right now. Two big ultras in the next few months.
Then maybe – just maybe – Next year I will transition into a totally different training-mode – one where I slim down, tone-up and get faster.
Maybe 😉
<3 K
I read an article today that was a huge contradiction within itself. Rather than reply on the page where it was posted and start a dramatic debate Ive decided to type out my thoughts.
The article is about the serious issue of teen suicide and factors that may contribute, including the pressures on kids by their parents.
What is it saying though?
On one hand Oh we coddle them and dope them and yet we expect so much of them.
Well, stop coddling them and train them for life, but for fucks sake don’t lighten your expectations.
Don’t undo everything for them. Don’t demand they get unearned trophies. Let them figure out how to fight their own fights. These kids are committing suicide, in part because theyre sadly disabled by our enabling!
Highschool, and all school for that matter, is a perfect training for life.
Good, I’m glad my son has to figure out how to balance and give. That is life.
Some things are unfair, some people are mean, some things are hard. Good.
Sacrifices have to be made, failure has to be digested, sometimes help is needed and sometimes victory is celebrated. Yep.
Between my job(s); my company; my kids; my home(s); my marriage; my racing etc – Its all I can do to balance anything more. I see people with multiple relationships that they give attention to and I know that I don’t have anything left to give.
And guess what, the world is not the same as when I was skating thru school, under-achieving and ‘not living to my potential’.
I recruit. I know.
I see the best of the best, fighting for a job. I look over students with a 2.9 because you know what, I want a 4.0 or better. That’s why.
My kids have to compete and I cant do it for them.
Bottom line, Galatians 6:7-9 – You Reap What You Sow
I don’t accomplish anything or make any sort of impact on the world around me when I race. Its just a metaphor. Its personal but I hope everyone can find their ‘thing’ that keeps them going. Its not something you can teach your kids or anyone else, but if nothing else I hope deeper than any other hope, that everyone can find their own driver that keeps them going.
In all likelihood, my youngest wont get in the NBA, My oldest wont get a full ride to a D1 playing lacrosse and I wont qualify for Boston – but you know what – we have Things that we enjoy and are good at – then we have our day jobs.
Don’t give up people.
Feel free to read said article yourself http://totalsororitymove.com/a-message-to-teenagers-it-really-does-get-better/?fb_action_ids=10203174424822776&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%5B362386463902934%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.likes%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D
I have learned a few basic concepts along the journey of life. One is that somewhere in between two sides of a story is the truth and both versions are factual to their authors through the eye of perception.
When I receive an email from a teacher telling me my kid has been rude or disrespectful my initial response is one of concern. I assure the teacher this sort of behavior will not be tolerated and that they have my support.
By the time I’ve heard my kid’s account of what occurred, I am on the defense and ready to attack, motherly claws fully extracted (I might have even made a few teachers cry and one quit, but thats another story).
I do tell my kids when in these circumstances that their lives will be full of relationships that have conflicts – school, sports, neighborhood, work etc. As much as I am their greatest defender, ready to fight to the death for them, I also have to enable them to fight their own battles.
In a way this is one of the toughest challenges of parenting. I feel we are very much in a culture now that has produced accommodated children who expect a lot for a little. I can remember when my oldest was very young, pushing him in a shopping cart through a store and noticing something on the shelf he would like. Before I could reach for it, he pointed and asked for it. I said, Oh honey, I wish you hadn’t asked for it – I wanted to get it for you but you have to learn not to ask and expect – now if I get it you’ll think you can have everything you want.
That was hard for both of us.
Today I want to write a scathing email back to one of his teachers. Ok, I mightve actually already wrote it, and I want to send it. But I talked to him about it. I want us to make the decision together and I want to put some of it on him.
I told him sometimes you have to work the system. It is not always about being right or wrong. It is not always about appearing to win. Ask yourself what we might accomplish. Silence is at times the victor. I told him to learn how to change the perception of him if it is false, and to alter his mannerisms.
If you think about it, highschool is the ultimate training tool for life – seven different teachers, and hundreds of classmates. Soooo many personalities. Most of the teachers want to be in charge, that’s their job. They have hundreds of different characters to try to control and get through their lessons as quickly as possible to move on to the next class.
They might make the logical assumption that a mumble under one’s breath is a rude comment, but maybe it was a prayer? Maybe the kids talks to themselves to manage stress? What they think is less important than how you react to them. This will happen again and again in your lifetime, so, figure out how to not let it beat you.
So while all the other mommies are running to the school to say “You were mean to my kid” or “Make things easier for him” – I’m looking at my kid and saying “Today we are faced with the age old problem of an a$$hole. It will not be the last time you deal with this. The world is full of them, a) don’t be one of them and b) don’t let them bother you. Use it as a tool to make you stronger.”
So yea, you can tell yourself, “That person is a tool”
😉 Done.
We are all naturally self-interested. I particularly demand success from myself at the exceptional level. I notice a new generation of our youth so enabled, disabled and entitled. I am part of the creation of this new breed of youth, described lovingly by our first-lady as knuckleheads. People are mad at her but sadly I agree.
I want to let them go play outside but I cant (for fear for their safety), I want to leave them at home alone but I shouldn’t (because they’ll blow something up). It doesnt matter that much younger than them I could come home alone after school, WALK from the busstop, cook my dinner and do my homework…. I had a house and a husband and a kid at 25, and now 25 yr olds can be on their parents health-insurance. The world is different.
How do I demand the same level of accountability and achievement from my children? How do I make them want and try and care?
And as I sit here and analyze a lifetime of passion to do great things – things that make me feel good, I examine my endeavors. Would I be just as happy to do good deeds if it didn’t bring me the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction? This is a debate as old as time, Are all good deeds inherently selfish?
From acts of heroism to picking up litter off the ground, you either get off on it or you don’t. I do.
Just like a runners’ high, which although somewhat chemical, it is also a physiological. I think the key is to find your thing, be faithful in your ability to accomplish it and defeat any forms of doubt that attempt to stand in your way – not just the voices on the street, but the ones in your head too.
I keep thinking what I’m attempting cant be done. The 24-Hours of running & the raising of $ for my cause – AND later down the road, really helping to change the way people live and care for themselves. I don’t want to fail – but what does that even mean?
When God appeared to Moses in a burning bush – Moses doubted himself. He heard God’s assignment to him and it not only sounded outrageous, he explained to God why he was NOT qualified for the job.
Who is Moses to question what God has called him to do? And what better crew chief could Moses ask for than God.
And guess what, if the latest form of doubt/resistance I face is the questioning of my intent, I reject this. I’ve got this!!!!
I am happy to find a way to weave meaning into my purpose and if that joy is selfish, so be it (amen). I wish for everyone to have the same – especially my boys. Hear your calling and follow.
luv K
Today I admitted that Ive been holding on to an insecurity about my appearance for 25 years based on one little comment that someone made about me. If I’m being really real there was more than one comment and I really don’t know why our minds hold on so tightly to one little thing out of a million. Especially a mind like mind that doesn’t have the luxury of memories like most minds do, I just have bits and pieces.
Now I don’t know if those timidities morphed over time into a full on dysmorphic complex or whatever but I know this – I know that I work very hard and I’m far more comfortable in my skin today than I was just a few years ago (when I was technically in better shape).
I cant explain exactly how you go from one place to the other in terms of self-acceptance or confidence but I think it has a bit to do with changing priorities and valuing things differently. In my case almost losing things that are important helped shine a different light on them, so much so that I can step aside from a spotlight I had spent the better part of my life trying to position myself under.
We seek different things at different times and our focus changes. I used to put an awful lot of energy into succeeding in a way that only I could understand and maybe I set the bar just out of reach for a reason. That is totally healthy sometimes, its certainly better than being a quitter or a self-defeatist who lives in a prison of their own hatred and pain – but that’s another story for another day my friends.
Back to the point, I am not saying I lowered my standards or anything like that, but I let a bit of steam off the pressure valve so I could stop and breathe and appreciate. Some of this approval and comfort has been remarkably humbling.
I don’t have to be better than anyone else. No one else has to be wrong, ever. But I can win every day, even if I have to reevaluate what I’m shooting for 1,000 times in that day.
Shoot for the moon and have peace. One of the coolest things I have ever realized is that there isn’t a single thing that can ever frustrate me as long as I give it to God and smile and know that the more impossible it seems, the more awesome it will be to see it come to fruition if and when He is ready to do it in His own time – and for Him it will be easy.
I used to sign up for big races and spend a so much time wondering how I would do that I missed the whole experience that I should have enjoyed. Now I am less than 90 days away from attempting a feat less than one thousandth of the population even tries, and I have zero worry, and not because I’m prepared or trained, I’m just faithful that my purpose is true and that no dream is too big. What a feeling.
4.5 mile run outside in the snow, then went to the community center with the family. Dad and kids played basketball while I got some miles on the elliptical. I’d rather lift weights than be on a cardio machine, but I didn’t get my miles like I wanted today, so I wanted to get at least 5.5 more. After I did that, I couldn’t resist and made my way over to the weights.
There were mostly big giant guys and one tiny girl. The boys were of course lifting heavy duty and the girl was twiddling around with 5 lbs dumbells. I was doing a few of my favorite moves, chest presses, curls, deadlifts etc – one of the giant boys says “Nice job” – the tiny girl seems, I don’t know, irritated?
I officially start showing off, grabbing heavier and heavier weights. We’re all noticing each other not looking directly at one another but by the reflections in the mirror. I keep trying to be bad a$$.
I’m not sure the exact moment where I overdo it, but it was either the lawnmowers or something but I strained the heck out of my back. This is the same back that has been shoveling for hours and hours lately. I’m not hurt – but I might be having some kind of feelings tomorrow. And – maybe I’ll take an Epsom-salt/coconut-oil bath tonight 😉
I’m 5’4” w/out heals. I was 120 something pre-kids. My weight has danced around 140 give or take in a twenty pound window most of the last 15 years. I hardly exercised at all prior to around 2005 or so when Steve bought a treadmill. I don’t think I ever got above four miles on it, but then one day, I decided to run outside (what a concept right). I enjoyed it but the idea of racing never even crossed my mind – I just jogged around our neighborhood in the mornings and it became my thing.
Fast forward to 2009 when I see a post on facebook from my friend Donna who says she has a bib for the Army Ten Miler, Does anyone want to join her?
Having never run more then five miles, I say I’ll do it. I go into it thinking I wont finish, but I do. And from that day I am hooked. I quickly sign up for a half, thinking, Its only three more miles, and this time I’ll actually train!!
Six months later I’m registered for my first full, and while training, I get down to 120# soaking wet. I complete MCM pretty slow. I’m thin, but I’m not healthy. I think I eat better than most people, because Ive been gluten free for the last 7 years, I only eat lean protein, don’t drink soda etc but really, I don’t have a clue. I don’t know what clean means and I have a lot to learn.
In the next month or two I start lifting. I put on ten or more lbs. But I’m fitter and I know it. This is where I learn that the scale isn’t much of a truth teller after all. If anything, I’m even smaller, and I run my next marathon nearly an hour faster than the first. Then I do a 50k pretty fast, and a couple months later, I do a 50 Miler.
Ok now I’m an Ultra runner. I figure I’ll stay thin by my lifestyle alone, which is not only sustainable and maintainable, it is enjoyable for me and I have no desire to go back to anything else.
I race a lot. I constantly refine my nutrition to make it that much better with little changes here and there. But I am slowly putting on weight. And not like good-muscle weight like I described previously, I mean I’m getting a belly.
Now today, this is who I am. I exercise every day. I do core and strength just as much as I run – so its not unbalanced at all. I even gave up the only two things I had left that weren’t healthy – I gave up the sugary liquid treats at Starbucks that I used to justify in my head w/ killer workouts or long runs. And I 99% gave up wine – after all, its just empty calories. So I eat clean/whole/real/un-manufactured or modified foods; only lean protein; nothing fried and rarely prepared by anyone else. Very little sugar, gluten free, I drink a crap ton of water daily, infact it is the only liquid I consume besides straight up espresso sweetened w coconut oil – I could go on and on – the point is, there’s not much I can think of left to improve nutritionally.
I have done three cleanses in 4 years and I’ll tell you about them now.
I did Isagenix twice and Advocare once.
Isagenix was suggested by my holistic-wellness-sports-med dr; Advocare was recommended by my trainer as something approved by the Olympics for which she is training. Trusting both of them, I tried both.
The first time I tried Isagenix I had a significant weightloss in a short period of time, the 2nd time I didn’t lose an ounce. Here is why I think that happened. Because in order to do it, you have to follow a meal plan, and there are even a few days you don’t eat anything. So the first time it was prior to me knowing about clean eating – really label reading and portion size and frequency. That change alone, plus the amount of water you are told to drink would drop lbs off anyone who didn’t live that way normally. Read that last sentence a few more times, I stand by that a million percent and I think that applies to every plan/product out there today.
The second time, it just didn’t do anything for me because I already eat small, frequent, clean & leans meals. My body had nothing to react to. I think our body always needs something to react to, like the muscle confusion concept, its real – the body is smart and it adjusts.
When I did Advocare, I lost no weight. But I did lose inches and feel fantastic.
I have never tried Shakeology or Beachbody etc – I imagine it is the same type of thing and lets face it, the concept works but its not about products in the end. Its about us and what we do. So pick a product, research them, theyre fairly indistinguishable to me but if anyone wants to chime in and tell me how and why one is better than the other Im all ears.
– Protein shakes are good – the cleaner the better – and the less crap you add to them the more affective they will be – period. Read the labels, pick the one you like and don’t add a bunch of crap to it. Now I use soy or whey and I add frozen bananas and whole raw almonds. That’s my post-workout deal and/or breakfast replacement on the run.
– HIITs training is the best. Find some videos you like – I like Jillian and Bob. I like kettlebells and I like to mix it up. My biggest struggle here is boredom, if I’m at home I need a way to force myself to just stick it out for a minimum of 30 mins, preferably an hour. A trainer or a video or a trip to the gym outside of the house will usually do the trick there to make me stay it out longer.
– I’m not a run or workout w others kind of person. I’m not a comradery/group-hug kind of girl. I like to go solo. Others thrive with others, whatever works. Do your thing.
– Clean food doesn’t come out of a jar, can or envelope. It doesn’t have ingredients on it that you cant pronounce. Shop around the outside perimeter of the grocery store. Eat frequently and drink half your body weight in ounces daily of water, or more.
I’m not 20 or 30 anymore. I’m 40. There is no sense trying to figure out how I was 10 or 15 pounds lighter two years ago when if anything I’m exercising more and eating better now than I was then.
There are no magic products or secret codes.
DO MORE AND DO IT BETTER. That’s all I can do. Today. Now. And tomorrow.
<3
~K~
Teenager son has his girlfriend over for Valentine’s day.
They exchange gifts and watch tv & hang out.
I make a nice dinner & a cake. All is well. They head down to watch a movie.
I don’t hear for them for a while.
Im in bed watching tv w my younger son. My husband walks in w a serious look on his face.
“He cant be in there, especially with the door closed” He points to our son’s room.
“Then knock on the door and tell them to come out”
Knock knock
“Hold on I’m naked”
My life flashes before my eyes and I die a thousand deaths.
He strolls out with his shirt off.
I’m pretty sure something of epic proportion is about to unfold.
“WHAT”
“WHAT”
“What the freaking hell boy why don’t you have your clothes on and where is she”
“She’s gone, she’s been gone, her mom picked her up”
And we all had a giggle. And I am having a glass of wine now.
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