My youngest son, Justin has really found his groove in the Army.  In less than 48 hours he will begin the 96 hours Forge to complete Basic Combat Training. The next day, 6 days from now, he will graduate and Turn Green, becoming an American Solider.

In the same way that the school system that was set up hundreds of  years ago, doesn’t work for all students, not everyone is cut out to succeed in the military.

His brother was that kid who thrived in school and I’m not saying he never struggled or worked hard, but let’s just say, he’s just one of those guys, who glitters and shines.  Justin, didn’t.  He is just as smart and talented, he just didn’t conform.  I had him in IEP and got tutors and sent him to math clinics.  I spent zillions on a psychologist who specialized in learning, who was blown away by how Justin scored in certain areas “off the charts” and was so below average in others.  I know, and she agreed, it was a choice to him.

If he wanted to write stories, he wrote brilliant tales.  If he wanted to make music, he’d lock himself in his room and pump out track after track.  But there was never an organized music or writing project or program anyone could interest him in.

I sent samples of his work to a private music school that people auditioned for and spend thousands to go to.  They invited him to come in for a tour, offered him a scholarship, and he declined.

I remember him telling me one day, “Mom, its like I’m a fish in the forest.  It doesn’t matter how good I can swim, I can’t climb trees and there is no water.”

He had zero interest in proving anything to anyone or earning any sort of accolades.  I remember making an outlandish incentive for him his sophomore year.  He was barely passing most of his classes, as usual, and I said, “You want a 4-wheeler, I’ll get you one, if you can bring home a straight A report card.”

I shit you not – he did it.

I got him the 4 wheeler (a really nice one) – and then his grades just slid again and we spent the next few years of high school barely passing.  I couldn’t motivate him.

He listened to a lot of podcasts like Jocko, and he had it in his head for a long time, that he was going to join the Army right after graduation and become an Airborne Ranger.  That was it.  That clicked for him, I saw the switch turn, it was all he wanted.

I was concerned he wouldn’t pass MEPs because of either his ADHD, his celiac or the fact that he is almost complete deaf on one side and partial on the other.  Not only did he pass, he passed without waiver.  When I asked him how the hell he passed the hearing test he said, Its just patterns, I guessed right.

That means he didn’t just guess right at MEPs, he did it at reception too.  I literally saw other SITs getting sent home for failing the hearing test.

He was supposed to be wearing a hearing aid most of his life, but he refused.  Eventually, partially for cost, we stopped fighting him and he learned to just ‘adjust and figure it out’.

When Justin puts his mind to something, he is all in.  As  his mom, all I can do is support him.

Speaking of support, I have supported the DOD by way of building teams, helping active service members transition to civilian and find employment for vets.  The majority of the work I have supported in last 12+ years, has been primarily DOD.  I followed Justin’s recruitment journey closely and was very involved, as much as he would let me, in the negotiation of his contract.  In my heart I know, this is a golden opportunity for him to finally get his groove and be challenged, motivated and rewarded.

So far its working.  He sees other soldiers in training who cry at night, are miserable and some even attempted suicide.  This doesn’t make him better than them, its just not for everyone.

He has told us some pretty cool stories in his letters to include:

  • A snake he had to kill
  • Fire-ants he sat on
  • The dude that had to get punched in the jaw by the DI (he really needed it)
  • A bet on a football game that  he lost with a DI that resulted  in him having to lunge around with his gun over his head
  • The tornado that rolled through while they were on night range, followed by a flood, and how they had to respond

I’ve never missed anyone so much in my life, diluted only by my overwhelming pride. Worried isn’t the right word but I do have to just sit around waiting and wondering what’s happening all the time and hoping to see a picture or get a call.  I guess I am in training too, as that will be the new normal, pretty much for the length of his Army career, however long that ends up being.

So cheers to our soldiers, and all they go through, as well as their loved ones and families.

2020 took away his chance to march for his diploma, go to prom, have senior week and even the big trip we had planned for spring break.  Now his dad and I dont get family days or the chance to see him get his black beret or blue chord.  But we are so proud and seeing what we can virtually!!!

Bless you son – Can’t wait to hear about the Forge, watch you turn green, then watch you turn blue, then get your wings….and on and on!