Any runner who tells you that they dont care about their time or Its just a training run or they dont need a DNF is a fucking liar.
Honestly.
Yes my full last week was to get ready for my 50k in a couple weeks, which is right before my 24 Hour.
And yes, I’m going to switch gears from endurance to speed after that and focus on attempting to BQ in the fall.
BUT –
I care.
I care how I did and how I didnt do.
Of course Im glad I came in under 5. This is my third time running this race. I hate this race. And they keep changing the course and making it worse than it was the year before. Hills – ghettos – mudd – stupid.
There was even a point on a turn around where I just stopped and looked at the mile marker (20) and wasnt sure I was going in the right direction. It was the worst feeling.
Part of me was glad we got rained on the entire time. Its almost as if Im determined to find new ways to punish myself…I dont know. Some runners were wrapped in plastic or whatever. I had no interest in this. I gave no meaning to the word soggy. I even took my coat off midway through and just kept going. 4:45 Oh well. Its about an hour too slow for Boston, and 20 minutes slower than my PR.
I do know though, that from the minute I parked until I got back in my car, I covered over 50k in under 6 hours which brings my expectations for NorthFace to a whole new level.
Again – Im thinking I might PR.
I just ordered TailWind which I have been meaning to do forever and a half. Better late than never I guess.
So new shoes and new fuel w out training. Its almost like I’m trying to sabotage myself?
Not really.
I just want to do well.
It all amounts to nothing really. But I really do want to kill this race. This is the one that I wrecked my knee on last year.
Currently both knees are jacked up – not because of running (which is a common false assumption) but because of non-run-related occurrences — one involved a wet floor in a grocery store – anyways – my knees are so bruised and scarred its nasty. Dont look. Thank God for pantyhose. As if.
Well that is a lot or rambling for one night. One of my midgets is beside me in bed writing too. You know what they say about the apple falling from the tree and all….
I wish my boys ran. At least my dog runs. Speaking of dogs, I miss Poydras so much.
OK really this has ended 5 or 6 times already.
Spin and barre in the am tomorrow. Not sure about Thursday, other than its supposed to be nearly tropical outside, so Im likely to take a long run – then Friday my barre instructor is going to hit he trail with me.
My life is in an odd place – where I dont know where Im going or what the point is – but I feel oddly excited – sort of like that Christmas Eve feeling when you look wicked forward to the next day, but dont want the excitement to end? Sorry world for being so hard to tag down, a bit rude and honest with a touch of asshole.
And thank you world for loving me anyway…old friends and new – bonus surprise friends etc xoxoxo
~K~