Just another blog ~ some helpful stuff ~ some feelings etc

Month: April 2014

Goals for this weekend:

Goals in layers:

–        Layer 1, Get cleared by the doctor

–        Layer 2, Make it to 50 miles

–        Layer 3, 100k, a new distance PR

–        Layer 4, 75 Miles, another medal 😉

–        Layer 5, complete the full 24-Hours w/ out stopping and just see how far I can go….

That’s it really.

  • Overall banner goal – raise $10,000 for Jodi – you know, just so I can dye my hair purple and shave it off.

Holding the rest of my thoughts until it is all over…

 

everything is going to be ok ;)

It has been over a month and I’m still sick w no signs of improvement.  The one doctor appointment turned up with all tests saying I am perfectly healthy, which is clearly erroneous.  So today I went to another doctor.  This is going to be long but is full of info that may be helpful so may be worth a gander.

My brilliant, wonderful, fantastic [holistic, non-western-main-stream-drug-pushing] doctor spent 45 minutes just listening to me talk, asking questions and taking notes.

He then put out a few things to consider.  Some of which will require further testing to rule-out or diagnose, and another option that will just require me to STOP EXERCISING completely – at least for a while…

Option one: food allergy – we need to do a food diary – and yes, you can just develop one out of nowhere – this is his least likely hunch and was just a thing he threw out there.

Option two: Lyme disease – I do spend a lot of time in the woods afterall, and this is tricky to diagnose because there are three levels of symptoms and there is no consistency in results etc.  He said there is a common blood test and then a least common one and that he wanted me to go do both of them.    I don’t have some of the main indicators but then, some people never do, but he can see where I’d have both the respiratory and GI issues with Lyme.

Option three: I could have Rhabdomyolysis – and this is what he feels is most strongly the case.  The only way to know for sure is to STOP EXERCISING – this is also the only way to heal it.  Much more on this later….

And there is a fourth option – I could be poisoning myself.  Yep.  Fun.

Note – Its funny that I just wrote a piece about making judgments about health and lifestyles…

Did you know that ‘organic’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘healthy’ – and that ‘organic’ brown rice syrup used to sweeten & process food, is made from poisons such as arsenic?  AND that much of the gluten free pastas and breads contain brown rice syrup????

Good lord really??  In which case I’m also poisoning my entire family.

So many questions spinning around in my head.  I need to go for a run to sort it all out.  Oh wait, I’m not allowed????!!!

A little bit of weird dark humor there sorry.

So back to the rhabdo real quick – I can definitely see where I put off the impression that I’m exercising a wicked ton and there was a time where I was doing a lot more than I am now.  But really, between the nutso winter we just had, my ridiculously busy schedule and the just plain feeling like crud lately, I have not been exercising anywhere near as much as I was previously.

This of course doesn’t mean that I haven’t caused a breakdown in my muscle tissues over time in the last few yrs of running that have just started to elevate the levels of toxins in my blood that are causing a breakdown in my liver and kidneys now….subsequently leading to me being so sick now.

You have to admit it is a sweet Edgar Allen Poe sort of irony to think I may have exercised myself sick huh.

This condition can be turned around.  Resting is the only way.  He thinks my condition is chronic and that I can reverse it with rest.  He said the rest can be as short as 72 hours depending on how long it has been going on.    We shall see.

Ps I told him that I read recently that too much protein can upset your stomach and he said although true, I might want to think about Magnesium.  It is found in dark leafy vegetables appearing daily in my diet, as well as found in the bolthouse proteins drinks that I drink often, AS WELL AS in my larabars eaten frequently in my diet. ..

Nice.

What’s left for me to eat/do?

*feeling a little defeated*

And so I shall be still (Psalm 47:10)

And then I will PRESS ON (Phil 3:12)

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Love and thanks to all my loyal supporters (my mother-in-law Pat, Donna, Harmony etc) for their caring and concern

~K~

 

 

Matthew 7:1

When I say I am a judgmental person, I don’t mean it in a hateful or unkind way.  The judgment I pass is in reference to how you might be doing something when I wish you’d do it better for your own good.  I love people and I want to help them.  I know that people do bad things to themselves and I want them to stop.  I want them to treat themselves better.  But I don’t know everyone’s story, so – that is what I mean.

Here’s an example of judgment gone wrong – when I had only one kid, I did a lot of things wrong and didn’t know it – but all I knew was that my kid was awesome and your kid was out of control.  I must have been doing something right and you were doing it wrong.  Then his brother came along and as much as I know full and well all the things I do wrong on a daily basis, I also realize that I didn’t do anything different with #2 then I did with #1 yet they are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.  So much for that.

Then I look at people with serious health issues, and I wish they would exercise and eat right.  I see people who do things so terribly wrong that I would never dream of living that way – but – I used to.

So – that all I want – I want to help people.

But heres the thing.

I have been very healthy for the last several years – no medicine, no illness – and I just keep improving my lifestyle.  So why am I not getting in better and better shape?  I was fitter, leaner, faster and stronger 3 yrs ago!

And now, all of a sudden, in the last month – I have gotten sick!

Very sick.

I don’t know which came first – the chicken or the egg – so, I don’t know if a gi infection caused respiratory inflammation and complications or the other way around – but I know I have had xrays and full bloodwork panel and there are no abnormalities.  According to the labs I am completely healthy – yet, Im not.  And this isn’t the first time this has happened.  A couple years ago I just started feeling bad.

Why?

If anything I eat and exercise better now than I did when I was 20 pounds lighter and significantly faster.  I went from a 4:20 marathon to 5:15 and from a 7:02 50k to a 10 hour.  Heck today it took me 1:40 to do 8 miles and my 10 mile PR is sub 90.  Im not saying I do everything right or perfect, of course I dont – but there’s not a ton of room for improvement and this is just the key I am referring to where you cant assume that healthy lifestyle = a clean bill of health and all the sick people did it to themselves.

I’m sick in the bathroom 20 times per day and Im out of breath from walking up a flight of stairs.

With the longest race of my life less than two weeks away this is not what I had envisioned for myself at this point.

Tomorrow im going to my holistic/wellness doctor who I’ve not seen in quite a while.  I don’t know what he’ll be able to do at this 11th hour but I’ll stand on my head and eat butterflies if he tells me to.

this is a true story

I would like to preface by saying I neither condone murdering people nor am I in any way making jest of mental illness – I’m just telling a story – a true one:

I stopped to fill up my gas tank on my way to the office.   The pump asked me if I wanted a car wash.  Even though I didn’t really have time, I pressed the Yes button.

I punched the code from the receipt and entered.  The water was spraying and the brushes were spinning.

Then I thought, now it was early mind you – but I thought I saw a very large silhouette of a man standing at the edge of the exit way.  Then I was sure.  He moved.  He stepped to the side.  Now he was facing me, and just staring.  He was all dressed in black.  His head was shaved.  To me he looked like Jason from Friday the 13th

He put his hood over his head and stepped forward.  I froze.  I was afraid.  If I’d had a gun on me, I would have shot him – of that I have no doubt.   Quickly thoughts began running through my mind of what I might try to do.    Could I drive while the brushes were going?  Could I back up?  Should I beep the horn?

Rather than use my phone to dial 911 or something stupid like that – I used  it to take a picture of him?  I even took the time to swiftly turn off the flash so as not to enrage him.  Afterall, he is Jason – w/ out a mask.

Then he was standing right over me at the driver’s side window.  For some reason, I turned down the window a tiny bit.  I could hardly understand him.  He said something about ‘Making it better’.

I think he is the guy who waits for you to drive out and then wipes off the car for $5.

“I don’t have any cash” I said “No money”

He walked away.  He was soaked.

I drove away with my car covered in soap.

—— ~ —— ~ ——- ~ —— ~ —— ~ ——- ~ —— ~ —— ~ ——- ~

A couple of days later,  I went to the same gas station to get cash and coffee.  As I was checking out, I said to the manager, “Uhm how is your car wash working these days”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I got a real scare the other day, I was in there and….”

“Bill”

“I’m sorry”

“He works here, well, he doesn’t really work here but you know, he uhm…”

“Yeah, I could tell”  ((we looked at each other eye to eye in that knowing way where no words are needed))

“Did he take his clothes off”

“I’m sorry???!!!”

“Yeah, he does that sometimes”

“No”

“Well that’s good”

I really am glad he didn’t take his clothes off – and that I didn’t have a gun on me.  I would have been that lady, who killed that poor guy who just wanted to make $5 (and looked like Jason).

a month away

7 miles for the first two days of April.   Right inline w/ my plan.  Oh, here is my plan for this month.  I have just over 30 days until the big race.

I will do at least 180 miles this month – 5k/day M-F and a minimum of 15 Sat & Sun.   I’m so excited.  I envision myself doing lots more timed ultras

But that’s not enough.  I had a little chat with myself today.  I decided I need to spend more time on my core.  I cant just base-miles my way into this race.  Miles are important but theyre not enough.  So I promised myself to incorporate a good amount of strength & core into my daily routine (maybe minus my long run days).

Running takes more than just legs.  You use your stomach and your arms – when they are strong, you are strong – and fast – and with strength comes endurance.

So that’s it.  Im not going to beat myself up for what I should have done and didn’t do, I’m just moving forward ~ One Step at a Time

Here is a peak at today’s fun run on the trail w/ Steve:

running walking dead

<3 K