Today I admitted that Ive been holding on to an insecurity about my appearance for 25 years based on one little comment that someone made about  me.  If I’m being really real there was more than one comment and I really don’t know why our minds hold on so tightly to one little thing out of a million.  Especially a mind like mind that doesn’t have the luxury of memories like most minds do, I just have bits and pieces.

Now I don’t know if those timidities morphed over time into a full on dysmorphic complex or whatever but I know this – I know that I work very hard and I’m far more comfortable in my skin today than I was just a few years ago (when I was technically in better shape).

I cant explain exactly how you go from one place to the other in terms of self-acceptance or confidence but I think it has a bit to do with changing priorities and valuing things differently.  In my case almost losing things that are important helped shine a different light on them, so much so that I can step aside from a spotlight I had spent the better part of my life trying to position myself under.

We seek different things at different times and our focus changes.  I used to put an awful lot of energy into succeeding in a way that only I could understand and maybe I set the bar just out of reach for a reason.  That is totally healthy sometimes, its certainly better than being a quitter or a self-defeatist who lives in a prison of their own hatred and pain – but that’s another story for another day my friends.

Back to the point, I am not saying I lowered my standards or anything like that, but I let a bit of steam off the pressure valve so I could stop and breathe and appreciate.  Some of this approval and comfort has been remarkably humbling.

I don’t have to be better than anyone else.  No one else has to be wrong, ever.  But I can win every day, even if I have to reevaluate what I’m shooting for 1,000 times in that day.

Shoot for the moon and have peace.  One of the coolest things I have ever realized is that there isn’t a single thing that can ever frustrate me as long as I give it to God and smile and know that the more impossible it seems, the more awesome it will be to see it come to fruition if and when He is ready to do it in His own time – and for Him it will be easy.

I used to sign up for big races and spend a so much time wondering how I would do that I missed the whole experience that I should have enjoyed.  Now I am less than 90 days away from attempting a feat less than one thousandth of the population even tries, and I have zero worry, and not because I’m prepared or trained, I’m just faithful that my purpose is true and that no dream is too big.  What a feeling.