I saw a tweet yesterday saying that ‘white women need to stay in their lane’ [and not speak for black women]. I am not black. So I cant speak for black women, I agree. As a side note, I think most women agree that a man cant/shouldnt speak for a woman (even and yet, they make up laws for them). So maybe its like that?
I saw this tweet out of context (I think it was in response to something I didnt see) and it had received a ton of responses by the time I saw it, many angry. I don’t think they were saying white women shouldn’t support or stick up for black women, just that they cant speak for them. That’s not the same thing.
Just the other evening my company’s Women in Technology group was discussing Hidden Figures which I think as women, is a fine thing to do, but, none of us were black (on that particular evening) so, I pointed out that the movie wasn’t just about them being women, but also black. *Spoiler Alert* Not sure if the running to the bathroom thing was factual or not, but its still not far-fetched for the time period, and like so many other things those amazing 3 women faced, it was because of their skin color not just gender.
That said, I am not Jewish, or Muslim or gay or disabled, but I stand with all of those people, who suffer adversity and struggles I can certainly imagine, but not truly understand. As a mom of boys, I will never know the reasonable and justified fear a black mom has to face of letting her teenage son leave the house, with lets say, a hoodie on – because maybe he’ll be mistaken as a criminal and shot? Seems absurd right? Why would you mistake my son as a criminal and decide to shoot him just because of his clothing? You wont right? Because he has blonde hair and blue eyes…
If anything, I am embarrassed at times that Im white. Granted if you have to be white, be Italian, because we’re the coolest but anyways. Seriously, it feels like an unfair advantage in a twisted world where unqualified, undignified, unexperienced, unrelatable, unrespectable, racist, sexist, ignorant white men who have fortunes handed to them get nuclear codes when they cant even put together an eloquent sentence. Alas, I digress again (ADD much).
This will get blown out of proportion and misconstrued but Im ashamed that I have over indulged my own children and am very much a part of ‘the problem’ in that way. There is nothing dignified about having life handed to you, with no consequences for poor choice and no achievements in the face of great hardship or challenge.
Don’t get me wrong, Ive had my own share of tribulations to overcome in life and they all seem small from where I stand now but they were large at the times – and I can say that nothing was ever handed to me. I worked my ass off for everything I have but it all could have turned out very different had the strokes of good favor not been on my side. And despite being married, I still stand very much on my own, by choice, dependent to no one. But boy have I been fortunate. So do my kids realize that? Have they learned anything from watching me work, practice, prepare, train or study? I am not sure. I think it may hit them in their 30s but we’ll see.
Oh look at me, off track –again. Suffice to say, the tweet made me sad. Not angry, like some of the responders. Just sad. Sad for our nation. Sad at the state of things in general. Humble, grateful and hopeful.
As far as lanes go, Im on a long, winding, sometimes rocky lane, on the road of life, and youre all welcome to come along for the ride (I sing off key, Im loud, I cuss a lot) but Im nice, funny and I can cook, so take a seat.
God bless.
Be well <3 ~K~
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