I wont be closing out the month of my 5 year marathon-anniversary with a 100 miler. Yeah, a full, two halves, 2 50ks and a 100k in the last few months – but I did not finish the Grindstone100 – but I started. It rained on us the majority of the time. The terrain is brutal – at least the part I managed to finish.
I love that this race started with the director, Clark who amazingly managed to get this all pulled off after the permits were pulled last week due to storms – prayed for us and our safety. Then we all sang the National Anthem – then we were off.
The two runners I paired up with were vets, to say the least. Between them they’ve completed such great feats as Barkley, Bad Water, Leadville and Grindstone – as well as other insanity runs to include countless 100s, some 200+s and one of those amazing cross-state runs totaling over 600 miles. One of them, Dave, was the only reason I wasn’t curled up in a ball in the pouring down rain crying. OK slight exaggeration but we both were there for each other in different ways to including noticing which way to go or helping each other up from a fall.
When I got to the last aid station before dropping, there was a handful of
people waiting for a ride back to the start. The worker who was driving them basically said – ‘You just did the hardest part of the race, it will be light in a few hours. Youre almost an hour behind the hard cut off. Not to be rude, but you need to make your decision fast – either get in my car, I need to get up and back – or start running.’ At this point David was out – how can he be out – he has done BAD WATER – he has done LEADVILLE etc – and no one was behind me, they’d all gotten in a car to go back. The next runner back was 30 minutes up, a super nice guy who’s name I forgot that left a shirt for me at the station because I didn’t properly prepare in terms of change of clothes and drop bags – it wasn’t likely I’d catch him, and I still had nearly an hour to make up to not be DQd.
Its not that I cant handle the miles, or time on my feet, I’d done twice that distance or duration 4 times already this year. It was this gnarly course, this day – this moment…my nutrition – whatever. I inspire myself usually by just saying, Do it for your kids so they can never say they couldnt beat the odds – because you always do – but alas.
This is not the same as my JFK story I love to tell when I didn’t make the cut off then made up the time plus 15 to finish under….I wasn’t 10 miles from the finish – I was like 70 – and this course was like no other Ive ever seen.
I had plenty of energy still – but that didn’t matter at all…Im certain I can go a solid week without eating or sleeping – but I cant make myself faster. I’d taken too much precious time avoiding falls while I watch people fall all round me. The paths are narrow, the edges are slick and soft, and the drops were steep and rocky. I watched someone’s foot go off the path and they slide right down the hill. And for me, much worse than the steep climbs, was the declines that were very much like Slip & Slides.
I went from being massively over heated to shivering in my soaked clothes. All the water crossings were over flowing from the rain the past two weeks and my feet were a soggy mess. I didn’t bring enough pairs of shoes either….
All that sounds like a whiney bitch-fest and none of it is an excuse. The race is still going on now as I am writing this – and will for a long many hours for whoever is still in it. Over half the registrants didn’t start and I have no idea how many DQs will happen – but all the journeys are unique.
We all have our own challenges in training and races. Priorities, responsibilities, disabilities – and gifts and strengths. Prior to this moment I’d say my grit and stubbornness are my truest game changer. It was no small task to chose not to keep going. I was fearful of being alone and lost for hours on end in the rainy darkness. I was already seeing shit that I knew wasn’t real, and I’d only been in it about 8 hours. Normally it takes at least 12 hours for me to loop out like that – but the fog, rain and leaves all made the path crazy to look at. Also, if I headed out there alone – if at some point I needed assistance – I was going to be HOURS from any other human, as it was taking several hours to get to each station. That and, unless I got a tremendous boost of energy, I was looking at a finish that likely wouldn’t even make the final cutoff by at least an hour.
I love the wonderful people I added to my life, like every endurance adventure
I partake in – it’s a special breed.
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